Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
