if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
