69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
