I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
