I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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