I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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