Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
