C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm passing your future prison.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
