fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
