dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize