I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
