RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
