you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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