you're like a bully in the Christmas story
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize