Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
