HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize