is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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