Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
