If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
