theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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