It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
