There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize