Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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