Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he thought i was a dude.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
