When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
