we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
