I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
