I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
