I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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