I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
