we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
