There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize