have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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