i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
