i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
