i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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