She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
