my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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