just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
