You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
