Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
