i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
