Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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