she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
They have beer where we have blood.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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