Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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