I accidentally burped into my bong.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
