so explain again why im purple
no
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
God I need to hump something, right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize