I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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