i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
