i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
