You work out of a Hotel?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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