I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
