Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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