Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize