You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
