I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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