used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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