yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
