I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
