margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
