Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
