Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
