I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
