There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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