i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
