You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
