He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my shit smells like andre
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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